Don't Give Up. Get Desperate.

Stuck. Completely and utterly stuck. This feeling was one my sister and I feel very well. We were talking yesterday morning about how completely hopeless our situations seems. Jobs either are non-existent or underpaid, overworked, and taking a cut back. Which means finances are the same way, along with the dreams and desires we have for our lives.

As we were talking she kept asking this question, "When do I get to just give up?" and I thought that was a good question. How long do we have to trust God to provide while our lives fall apart?  God is good. That is truth. No matter what happens to me or in this world, God is still good. Period. So why do I feel like He isn't being good to me? I prayed about that for a while, seeking God on an answer for why all of this is going on and what can I do to finally change all this. And quietly, the words were spoken to me: "Get Desperate". 

Why all of this is happening I don't know. I do know that there are certain laws in motion in the universe and everything has it's consequences, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about why after months of prayer  and job searching I still don't have a job, or after years in my brother in law's case. or why after every time I seek God for what I should do with my life and receive and instruction, when I try to follow it it all falls apart.  

But what if I got desperate? Like really desperate? In our society desperation is a totally foreign concept for us. We are so comfortable in the blessings that we so often take for granted. Despite all that I feel is wrong in my life, I have never gone hungry, I have never been homeless, I have never not been able to take a shower or never had a warm place to sleep. And while at this point the only reason those things are true are because I have amazing friends who love me and give me grace when I can't pay rent... But really I have never known what it means to be truly without. Maybe with out a shopping budget, but never without real necessities. 

In 2 Samuel 12 we can see how desperate David became to move the heart of the Lord for his son. The prophet Nathan informed David that his son would die in punishment for his sin with Bathsheba. Out of desperation David began to fast and pray that God would save his son. While the end of this story ends with the death of the child, I see that David knew something. He believed that his desperation could move the heart of God.


2 Kings 4:8-36 tells the story of a barren shunammite woman who was blessed with a son after blessing Elisha with her hospitality. The passage tells of the boy dieing while still young. I am struck by the woman's desperation to go to Elisha himself. Not his servant and at a time that was not normal or maybe even appropriate. After traveling to see him, she was pushed away but yet she persisted and finally Elisha sent his right hand man to heal the boy. Still she wouldn't go until Elisha decided to go with her. After they got home we can see Elisha's desperation for God to intercede for this boy. The passage tells how he laid himself out over the boy until the body became warm. Can you imagine? Laying over a dead body until the skin finally became warm? Umm...gross... But he still did it. Twice. And then the boy lived.


There are many other examples of desperation in the Bible, look and you will see over and over again people on their knees before God. Praying for children, or rain, or wisdom and understanding. We can see Jesus' desperation in the Garden of Gethsemane. And while maybe not every prayer was answered, the hearts of those people were changed if not the situation around them. But the lesson and time spent with God in these times are invaluable.


I can think of other people just in my life who have shown me desperation. I can think of one friend who was telling me about how he would go into the mountains around his house to pray. He told me how he liked it when he was uncomfortable when praying in repentance or desperation. Once he even said he had a cactus pushing into his stomach and he liked it because it was a chance to show God how serious he was.


I want to be that kind of desperate. Face down in dirt, cactus sticking in my side, exposed to wild animals but not going to let up until God moves kind of desperate. I don't want how long it takes or who's watching. I want to show God that I'm serious. I need Him. I want Him to move in my life and give me something to live for, something to do. That's what I'm going after. Either until the Lord releases me or works and shows His glory and blesses me.


For whoever reads this, if anyone reads this. I hope that you are encouraged and that you are not alone. Maybe you're in the same place and you feel like you're life is going up in smoke. Don't give up. Get Desperate. For Jesus, even if nothing changes, the Lord will be with you.